Wednesday, January 4, 2012

daddy

Hi Daddy, how are you doing up there? A better life I guess? I hope you're slowly getting used to it. Don't worry about us, mom, sis, bro and I will be good.

I shall make this post a not-so-sad one.

Hey Dad, even though you are my stepfather, you gave me even more memories than my real father did. I don't exactly know your D.O.D because I just received the news yesterday from Hudson that you've passed on due to a sudden heart attack. In bio terms: Myocardial infarction (MI) or acute myocardial infarction (AMI),where there is an interruption of blood supply to a part of the heart, causing the heart cells to die (source: wikipedia). The last time I saw you was about 3/4 years ago. I'm so sorry I can't even visit you for one last time because my passport has expired. And 'O' level results are coming out in less than a week. But Dad, don't worry, I've grown into a young lady now.

I still remember when we were younger, you had your own company that sells cloth and you were the managing director then. Every weekend, you, mom, sis, bro and me would stay together and watch television. And you would always take our things and hide, always teasing us. Then you would play the guitar and sing for us. You could play the guitar super well then. The piano too. We used to have a piano at home and you would teach me how to play a song. Every month, you would measure our height and make a marking on the walls beside our bedroom door. The markings are still there now. When mom went overseas to work and sis went into secondary school, there was only me, you and bro left. Every weekend, you would be the one taking care of me and bro. You would take us to shopping and we would buy many many many movies. Then we would go home and watch them together. You never fail to give me anything I wanted. Most of my idol's albums, you bought it for me. You still remember the time when you brought me to an autograph session? I was young and naive then. You then rushed to help me cut queue so I could get my album signed quicker. Back at home, you would allow me to use the computer more than you allowed Hudson to.

Things changed when you decided to close down your company. You wanted to change to selling birds' nest in China. But those bloody China buggers cheated you of your money like how they cheated mom. After that I really don't know what happened. Then you flew to Cambodia to work for Uncle Sam's company. (And btw Uncle Sam's company is one of my sponsors for F1-in-Schools ^^) You came back to Singapore once. And the last time I saw you, I remember, was at ahma's house gate. I contacted you through email once, and once through whatsapp. The whatsapp message was the last time I talked to you.

Even though the family dislikes you because you didn't help to support the family, I don't think so. You took care of me and bro for a very long time until you had to fly overseas for work. Yesterday, when I reached my workplace, I saw a spider on the wall. At that time I didn't know about the news yet. But thinking back about the spider I saw, I was pretty sure that it was you because when I see creepy crawlies, I would not hesitate to kill it. But yesterday I didn't. I was glad you came to see me.

Daddy, I believe God called you home because He wanted to help you end your misery on Earth. He wanted you to replay your role as a family man and look over us. Daddy, up there in your new home, I hope you will enjoy your new life and not forget us. I now believe that you have special powers that would give us the best. Daddy, even though I am not staying with sis and bro and mom is still in China, with your special powers, I believe that you will find us easily and look over us. And also, I believe that you can feel me writing this to you. If you're free, please come into my dreams. I know that you have many things to tell me. I will continue to grow into a nice young lady that you will be proud of. Daddy, maybe I'll join you up there 50-60 years later if I'm healthy enough to live that long. Wait for us okay? I know you will welcome us with opened arms and through this 50-60 years, I know you will make our new house an ideal one. I know you will decorate my room and make me feel like a princess, just like you always did. I want our home to be in your homeland, Taiwan.

If I could choose, in my next life, I would choose to be your child again, your real child. Finally Daddy, rest in peace. ♥